Tough Week for Terrible-Two Toddler

Friday afternoon – Bruce “pink-slipped” at Daycare due to angry rash around mouth. Daddy must take Bruce to doctor before bringing him back to daycare.

Saturday morning – Mommy takes Bruce for a haircut! Terrified of large female Russian barber with massive moles on her face, Bruce cries the entire time. Saturday afternoon – Daddy buys Bruce new (white) shoes! Bruce loves white shoes. This should be a good thing… we’ll get back to this later. Saturday night – NIGHTMARES of large female Russian barber. Soother recently retired – so up most of night.

Sunday morning – Bruce awakes (at 5am) with cold & cough symptoms. Tantrum until Daddy allows him to watch “Elephants” (Baby Einstein video about animals). Sunday night – Dinner out at friends. After his 10th lap (at increasing velocity) around the dinner table, Bruce and brass balcony door handle collide. Door handle wins; Bruce left with golf-ball-sized contusion on right side of head.

Monday morning – Dad attempts to “load” both kids into car by himself. Turns back on Bruce for 5 seconds; Bruce climbs stairs; trips and tumbles all the way to the bottom. Bruises everywhere. Monday afternoon – Doctor visit for rash. Bruce is terrified of his pediatrician. After a 1-hour wait, he cries the entire time and at record decibel levels when the doctor searches for “birdies in his ears” (thankfully, no ear infection). 5-day antibiotic prescription for bacterial skin infection costs daddy $72 (Insurance paid $22 ???!!!) Monday night – Evening diaper change reveals horrendous diaper rash and chafing on Bruce’s wiener. Up all night grabbing & scratching face, crotch & butt.

Tuesday morning – Daddy yells at Daycare supervisor for “her inability to provide the simplest basic of care for his son.” The diaper rash thing has been a recurring issue. Bruce bears witness and cries inconsolably when Daddy leaves for work. Tuesday night – BLISTERS from new white shoes. Bruce scratches face, crotch, butt, and toes all night long while crying loudly. Upstairs neighbors start stomping on floor.

Wednesday night – Same as Tuesday night, but with worsening cold symptoms. Neighbors stomp on floor some more. Daddy phones them and suggests ear plugs.

Thursday afternoon – Daddy picks up Bruce at daycare, and learns of latest BITING ATTACK. Daddy checks out Bruce and observes what looks like a big lipstick smooch on his left cheek.

Friday morning – After another sleepless night for all – add to cold symptoms a fever. Back to the doctor we go. Hopefully no “birdies I his ears”.

The good news is that Megan has been smiling all week long…